PATABIT

     Why do I have to hire a nine year old to get me up to date on social media?  Do they get immunizations that make them techno perceptive?  Are they learning in uteri somehow from cell phone pings? 

  Are the thumbs of the average 18-24 year old longer than mine - do they have more joints or something?  Have you seen a nine year old or 20 year old text?  Hey, I can type 80 wpm, at least I used to be able to, but come on... how can you do the alphabet with two digits?  No wonder they can't spell.  Why do I have to communicate with two thumbs anyway?  Isn't that going backwards?  I know how to talk...remember talking?  Is that frowned upon? 

    I must admit texting is quicker, and you don't have to think "in front" of people if you don't have to talk, but eventually, face to face you do talk, don't you?

    I'm not dumb, I know computers.  I can take a risk.  I even took computer programming (in 1981, so a total waste).  Can you even imagine what I learned back then?  However, WTF, I got credit for it.  

    I've found that parts of my brain have begun to pulse at an alarming rate when addressing things like I-Pod, blog, website rights, I-Pad, social media, tablet, screen shaking, Skype ... to such a degree that I believe it is realistic, and not (Gary) hysteria, to worry about my head exploding.  I can't keep it all straight.  Is it the ditz factor?  Is it aging distractibility syndrome (ADS)?  

   We, those of us 50 and over, (and don't screw with me/us cause we are THE MAJORITY NOW) have so much more wisdom and trivia in our brains than the average 9 or 20 year old, no wonder we can't input much more.   

  Alternatively, God F, am I now sounding like the oldsters I laughed at a million years ago when they didn't get ME?  But they were laughing at my bare midriff, the fact I thought I had to iron my hair, my jeans with the hems so long they were fraying, my coolness factor in the seventies, my even greater 80's coolness and higher hair...disco (well that was funny) kind of superficial stuff...this social media/computer/new technology every day crap is something of a different color/animal/psyche/type. 

  I have decided my next project is to develop a Serenity Prayer for those of us impacted by confusing, acronym loaded, new/updated, improved and stellar new technology.  We need to recognize our lack of power and give ourselves over to a new age and plethora of phones, apps and stuff, which I can't keep straight.  

    Yes, I thought a droid was something to do with Star Wars, not with the Android phone.  In addition, sadly, this isn't really age related as I'm trying to make it out to be.  I have friends in their 70's and 80's that seem to speak and understand the vernacular and they make me feel like I am the biggest dufus.

  I am a modern sort, truly, ask anyone, but as a blonde, and someone who sometimes doesn't GAF about what's happening and what everyone else is doing, I occasionally fall behind.  My known ADD/HD tendencies make it impossible and painful to read directions and learn new things in a linear way and be patient..............it is not in the cards. 

   My motto is READY...FIRE...........OOPS...AIM AT WHAT.  SCOPE?  Where's that?  What dots?  They connect?  Huh?  Line up what?  As someone who has gotten a finger caught in the place where you shove the bullet, and couldn't get it out, and required two experienced gun people (I know there's a technical name for this?  armorers?  However, my head hurts) to get my finger out, which is now forever crooked, I prefer to hack my way into things, but it doesn't work well with guns and social media.


    ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGJHHHHHHHHHHH  -   there it goes, my right frontal lobe just dumped out on the keys.  Signing off for now, have to clean up.  It's a messy world, but someone has to jump in and figure it out. I may not be the best one to do it, but I may be the most confused and determined, so who better.

    Follow me as I try to edit the blog I created..........and now don't know what to do with. 

    Walk with me as I create...yes..really..my own website...WTF....as I continue to write and use it as a vehicle to shamelessly hawk my wares.  (Alright, that's hysterical, I have no wares yet....but someday, I will have books, in my name or someone else's, I guarantee). 

    You and you alone are invited to the technology journey.  If you have children, please send along their information so that I may nurture them and pick their brains.