Monday, November 21, 2011

Turkey Day is Thursday, 

I'm sure you know.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, be it human, animal or plant.  I shouldn't write on the Wall, according to "The New Rules of Marketing and PR" by David Meerman Scott.   Or I've misunderstood which is highly possible given an ability to get things sassbackwards due to a tendency towards distraction, and impatience with instructions, and my talent to see numbers and other things upside down. 

Haven't you had second thoughts, an epiphany, or realized after a night of heavy drinking...I mean research - that you didn't know what you were talking about the first time around when you "updated your status"?

I was thinking -  to be helpful, I'd offer a few suggestions on table decorating.  Don't you want your guests to gasp and marvel at your creativity and use of color and design?  Do you like to entertain, intimidate or make people laugh?  Don't worry, I'm here for you.

How about those tiny sock monkeys?  The kind they are again selling at big retailers like Walm--?  I was in line yesterday.  The lady behind me had a couple.  I remember buying some years ago.   This year's edition has lSanta hats and bags with candy canes.  When I bought some they wore brightly colored scarfs and were like maybe $2.00.  I don't know what they cost now, but when I bought them, they sold out within days. 

I realize I was supposed to be talking about decorating for Thanksgiving, the next holiday, and somehow I segued into Christmas.  Do the retailers have the same problem?  I never saw big lighted turkeys anywhere this month after Halloween pumpkins, but trees, bells and stuff are already up.  Anyway, let me squeeze this in.  How about making sock monkeys place markers?  Just sew your friend’s names on the Monkey chests.  Now I know at least one person is drooling at this idea, no names mentioned.  If you are sewing needle impaired due to age and sight problems or due to youth and never learned to use one problems, how about using a Sharpie and painting the name on an adhesive label and sticking it on the old monkey?

So, what shall we do for Thanksgiving?  How about a bowl filled with folded notes saying "I'm grateful for my husband, hot body, children, cat, dog, whatever, and have guests pull one out going around the table and explain how and why they are grateful for their __________ and then let whimsy and whatever carry them along.  To ask each person to say what he or she is grateful for, without preparation or cue cards is cruel and not fun.  For God's sake, don't you already make them say Grace?

How about getting a package of tiny ceramic or plastic pumpkins, you might see them in the section where they have fillers for vases and use them as your centerpiece or as placeholders writing your guest's names on each one - they could take them home as a favor.

Why not ask your guests to write a good wish for you for Thanksgiving and throw it into a bowl that you'll have as a keepsake?  Don't you deserve special afterthoughts after all that cooking?
Don't put some big tall thing in the middle of your table; your guests won't be able to see around it.  And, please, no perfumed candles.  Everyone loves the smell of turkey, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie, don't pollute.

Try mixing things up this year, why have matching chargers under your plates?  Use coordinating and complimenting colors with white plates.  Go for silver and gold chargers on a deep burgundy tablecloth, with burgundy napkins and tie the napkins with gold and silver ribbons.  Vary your glassware and colors to create an interesting pallet.  Everything doesn't have to be matchy matchy, don't be afraid, see what appeals to your eye and go for it. 

Put something unexpected on the table...maybe a clustering of gold, silver, and aqua colored crystals and balls, in a meandering pattern.  Have fun, don't take it seriously.  Let your inner artist loose.  Look in cabinets at your displays and at art you haven't let loose.  Is there anything you can place on your table? Be a trendsetter.

At dessert time, put out bowls with beautiful folded colored papers printed with fortunes that you create and have each guest read theirs - should you select to put one at each quests place or pick one. 
Write a story sans characters and ask guests for names to fill in who does and says what, and when complete have them read it, each taking a piece.  Make the fortunes and stories funny or profound, it's your party.  Have a who is the biggest turkey party with a secret vote and the winner gets an appropriate prize.

Get rid of the kids.  Send them out to collect leaves (North/ Middle America), seashells (south/west coasts), or rocks (Tucson) to use as place markers.  Make sure they wash and dry them; then they can decorate them with sequins and sharpies; that should keep the lovely tads out of your hair a couple of hours.

Have a wonderful day.  Make sure you enjoy it along with your guests. Relax, it's all about the food after all...and the company.

Patabit 11/11

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