Shopping for baby...I mean puppy

      You may not know this but going to the pet store nowadays is quite the adventure. I can’t remember the last time I went into one to browse, not to just run in for food (my pet’s not me), or to see who’s up for adoption.

 I haven’t had one, a pet, not a store, in a couple of years now.  When I did I had cats.  You know they’re not really pets, more like live in guests. 

You can’t shop for cats, they’re extremely picky, too small for the cute clothes produced and they certainly won’t go with you to try anything on.  That’s just the way they are.  They know what they want to eat (and in what particular bowl).  You cannot buy another brand of food because they will picket it and you.  They can tell if you bought it somewhere new, so don’t try bargain shopping. 

Aside from that, cats prefer you buy something for yourself and bring it on home.  Then they will lay on it and paw it over in the comfort of their, your, house…so they can decide for themselves if they like your stuff FOR THEM.

Well, I’m getting a dog this time around.  So, I decided to venture into Petco and Petsmart…just cause.  I could start browsing, look around and figure out what I need. 

Then, and this is so not me, I figured I could make some sort of list and save up.  You know, take my time and build up the dog kitty, so to speak.  So when the baby, I mean puppy comes home, I’ll have everything for the little darling, pet.

OMG, when did dogs get fashion wear?  In sizes from XS to XL?  In 100,000 color variations and patterns and styling for the preppy pup, the pirate pup, the natural pup, the biker pup, the college frat boy pup and the princess pup?  Do you know they make boots for them?  They have rain ponchos too, just in case the weather becomes inclement and wet, I guess. 

There are three or four 500 foot aisles of leashes.  How the hell am I supposed to choose one?  And the harnesses...cause you don’t want a plain collar cause it could chafe the baby, puppy; how many materials, colors and sizes do these things come in and does it need to match the lease or should it compliment it?  I don’t know. 

Then, wardrobe.  Do I wait to see if it is a boy or girl, male or female, or just go with neutrals?  Should the puppy wardrobe coordinate?  Does it need to make a statement?  I don’t want my newborn, puppy, to look lame. 

What kind of cage or crate do I buy?  Should it be metal, plastic, wire?  Do I need one with shade, tamper proof locks, and an easy access door? 

Do I buy a bed that goes with the crate, or as an entity onto itself?  Is a little fitted one better or one with room to grow and have company in?  Do I need to get blankets?  Shouldn’t these be matching?  Can I custom order?

 This is way too many decisions …I have enough trouble planning my own wardrobe and redecorating my home. 

Someone give me a list and go do it for me please.  I probably won’t like what you bought; I’ve been trained by a cat so I’m persnickety.  I can see where I’m going to be spending a lot of time, in a daze…my head exploding.